Ariel Porter: My journey
Hi Margi,
I am so inspired by what you do to bring ED awareness. Keep fighting for self-love and health, girl! This is my contribution for the warrior talk:
Hi Warriors!
For the past couple of years, my sisters and I have suffered from our own eating disorders and I have seen it tear my parents apart and destroy my family. This is a short poem about my journey.
ED. Anorexia. Bulimia. You, me, and she made three.
Three sisters fighting ED, fighting each other, and fighting for life.
Restrict more: you do not need that.
It is too much.
Collarbones, ribs, sunken eyes, and no happiness left in our eyes.
Reserved and alone, we separated from each other.
Sister, be my strength: fight alongside me.
No, instead it is a competition in the race to the bottom.
Hide, lie, cheat, and fake it until you make it; that is what life was about.
Broken and crying, I watched her blame herself for what we did to ourselves.
I saw him sob for the first time.
We almost lost it all. No strength in family, only fear and blame.
How did it come to this?
Where did we go wrong?
No more. ED's turn to break.
Alone, I fought for myself and for the strength to save them.
Relapse. Lying to myself; pretending like a game that everything was okay.
Bulimic sister and OCD sister: they want the comfort of ED.
Stop, there is no faking this. I want to live before I die.
Even if that means venturing on my own.
Enter him. He gave me the confidence to face fear.
He watched me spit in the eye of anorexia and anxiety.
I fell in love with him.
And he taught me to love myself again.
I can accept failures and look at fear without a waiver in my gaze.
Repair and renewal: three sisters forgive and never forget the hell we have faced;
For it has made us stronger.
Battling for life and family and love. Self-love.
For the first time in years, our future is bright.
The war has not been won, but the daily battles bring small victories.
Happiness is possible.
Keep on fighting, warriors!
Ariel Porter