Rosy Kilty: F*ck Fashionable
Hi Warriors,
I wrote this in the summer and it is titled “Fuck Fashionable” and I hope it helps someone.
“Our bodies change throughout our lives. During such times, it can be tough trying to accept your new body shape, getting used to how it feels. This is especially true when recovering from an eating disorder, or undergoing medical treatment (which is often out of your control). But your body is unique to you, and it is the one thing that will remain entirely yours in your life. Having undergone such changes myself, recently whilst passing by a mirror, I thought to myself, well at least curves are back in fashion.
What the fuck? Where the hell did that come from?
That should not be the first thought to pop into my head. Women's’ Bodies are not pieces of fashion. No body “type” should be fashionable. I’m ashamed of this thought, even though I do not believe in it one bit. I should not have to compare myself to society’s standards to try and feel accepted, to blend into the norm, to be deemed “more attractive to the male gaze.” Hell, I’m not even a hundred percent straight, men were the last thing on my mind!
Even among doctors and other eating disorder therapists, the first assumption they often make is that the person is “trying to look like one of those models”. One ‘professional’ even told me that “men prefer girls with a bit of meat on them. You don’t want to look androgynous, do you?” Again with the men thing…! Among the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender community, queer men often work out to compete with unrealistic expectations against other men, including their own partners. Which is just another example of trying to satisfy the male gaze.
How often do we hear about women wanting to look good for their female competitors, idols and womanly self-acceptance? Society nearly always assumes they are doing it for men, it’s all about men. I guess that’s mostly due to presumptions around sexuality, but that’s something I’ll leave for another rant.
I’m glad that larger women are getting more representation among the media, and there is more recognition that not everyone is a size six. The boyish looks of the 90s are making way for an empowering and unrelenting body positivity movement. Some people naturally are a size six, others a size fourteen, and that’s okay, if you are mentally and physically healthy and happy. If anything, all bodies should be “fashionable”, whether you’re curvy, skinny, tall, short, top heavy, lanky, athletic, large, petite, or anything inbetween. Everyone deserves to love themselves. Your body is the vessel which carries your soul, and it does incredible things. We should not base our worth just on how we look.”
Rosy x