Sonia Antosz: Believe it

Hi, I’m Sonia from Poland. 

This Warrior talk is about my worth and yours too. 

I hope it helps someone.

There was a time when anorexia’s voice was in my head all the time. There was a time when I heard nothing else but this voice. I didn’t hear birds in the morning, or my friends talking, I didn’t hear cars or even the wind. 

That voice is the one which won’t shut up, that voice is the one that drowns out all other sounds, that voice is the one telling you what you “should” do, how you look like, that voice is the bully, that voice is what’s making you ill, causing you to feel sad all the time, and feeling bad all the time. That’s what’s isolating you, that’s why you feel bad if you have no friends anymore and no life, no love, It’s the road to numbness... death. 

I was trying to not be a HUMAN. I had to be “perfect”- no mistakes, I couldn’t “ruin” it. All my progress to perfection. My life was about rules, allowances and lists about less calories, less food, absolutely no parties, no meet ups with friends, no contact with family. But once someone told me that I must come back - I can’t die. My journey has started. So let’s start the real warrior talk and let me know start talking like a warrior..

1. We are not made of numbers on the scale, the size tags on clothes, grades at school, likes of photo. We’re made of smiles, love, happiness and laughter.

2. We’re afraid of word the word “fat”. Fat is not your worth, its a part of being human, fat is not a bad word, it doesn’t mean ugly or unhealthy. We all need fat on us to survive and thrive. I have bright skin so I’m pale. I’d also call myself short. I have a lot of fat on my body but I am not “fat, ugly or unhealthy”, I’m pretty so I fucking call myself pretty. That’s all. Why? I’m not cocky. I am grateful.

3. Your worth is not your weight, your skin color, your size, your shape, your style. Your worth is what person you are. No one is worthless. Your personality holds your worth.

4. You are more than mirror- It’s just a piece of glass.

5. Cellulite- social media are telling us, that we should get rid of it. But no one worth being in your life cares about your cellulite. Cellulite is nothing bad. Nothing ugly. Nothing to be ashamed of.

6. You are not born to be a skeleton. You can not function to your optimum if you are underweight. You are born to have muscles, fat, skin, cellulite and every other part of human that makes humans human.

7. You have working brain, a beating heart, you can smile and laugh- this is the most important thing in your life. The ability to skip meals and lose weight are not achievements they are disorders. 

It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be pretty good. Can you wait for all this SH*T to be over? Aren’t you excited to be able to hear again? Don’t give up okay? Let’s make changes, let’s have, do and be human. You are beautiful as fuck. You are worthy as fuck. So get rid of that voice so that you can believe it!

Love, Sonia.