Eva-Parani Collins: For The Little Girl Who Needed Me

Hi strong warriors!

Below is my poem. It is quite long, nonetheless I hope you all enjoy it and that it helps fill you with recovery motivational fire! Anorexia is a painful and wrenching struggle and I hope one day I will be free of it like the young girl I write about... I will keep fighting until I reach recovery.

I will do it.

We will do it.

Together.

A Poem For The Little Girl Who Needed Me

At first you hear her dulcet laugh
Enticing you with photographs
Of rosy curls and midnight fun
Forbidden swigs of stolen rum
Freckled cheeks and jutting hips
Heart-shaped pills on hungry lips
Pretty girls with thin reflections
Your green envy of their perfection
And for just the cost of your teenage years
She can rid you of your body fears

You hate when bodies are criticized
But you never really liked your thighs
You would never change for him!
But could he like you if you're thin?
Your mother tells you "don't be vain"
But she would never see the pain
Of what it means to be teen
Never noticed, never seen
So when she whispers "choose perfection"
To you it's not even a question

She'll become a part of you
She can show you what to do
How to ignore the writhing aches
How to lie and how to fake
How to live off coffee and gum
How its good to be fragile and numb
She'll whisper sweet words to dull the pain
She'll convince that you're not insane
She'll make you popular, center of attention
Because maybe now you've reached perfection

So perfect your body starts to break
And your fingers start to shake
Your cold knuckles crack
And short temper snaps
Your dazed head turns
And dry lips yearn
Your undereyes are darker than what's eating you inside
Even saying that word makes you want to hide
Your hair is limp, but you don't care
Because you can't stop her, you don't dare

She will throw your lunch into the bin
Because to her it's a cardinal sin
She will teach you to avoid most meal times
So your parents don't see the signs
And when you eat that slice of cake
She'll make you throw up at first break
She'll make you see your ugly flaws
And rake at them with desperate claws
She'll make you hide and make you lie
So no one notices when you die
And still you continue, you make that choice
Your cold hands cling to her sickly voice
Because she's made this word "perfection"
Your terrible and sick obsession

And so you fall into the ground
Where she'll finally place your crown
Upon your rosy curls so cold
Whilst everyone else is growing old
Was your figure worth your life?
Worth the pain and worth the strife?
How can you enjoy the midnight fun?
When you're already dead and gone?

Until you see this hollow grave
Unless you see you must be saved
Unless you change your lethal ways
Your "perfection" will eat up all your days

It won't be easy, not even close
It will take the features you love most
Recovery will make your thin cheeks big
And she will tell you "you're a pig"
You'll want to give up every day
And hurt yourself in every way
But if you just let your dazed mind hope
You'll find you'll soon begin to cope
You'll see she was just in your head
The evil part that wants you dead
But if you learn to let her die
Farewell the bad thoughts in your mind
You'll want to stay on this new earth
That life means more than perfection's worth

Perfection isn't lifeless eyes
Jutting hips or skinny thighs
It isn't what the scales say
Even if you feel that way
Perfection is peace, served warm on a beach
Perfection is crunching a handpicked peach
Perfection is joy, sung out of tune with your brother
Perfection is laughing, free with others
Perfection is love, held close to his chest
Perfection's not caring about weighing less
Perfection is being alive again
You can be alive again.

Have a magical day everyone, 
Lots of love, 
Best wishes,
Eva.

Eva's Instagram: @tea.pips